11/18/12

When puns and reality converge

Those of you who know me are aware of my sense of humor; I really love a play on words.  So, when I saw this on the net today it piqued my interest.  But, something just didn't look right.  So I looked it up in my computer program Xiphos and found that the penalty listed was listed as being "put to death" in the World English Version.  Not content with that, I reviewed a dozen plus major translations and they all said the same thing. Next, I consulted the Bible from 26 translations and it agreed as well.  Not wanting to take something out of context, I copied its neighboring verses as well and I have listed this below...

Leviticus, Chapter 20 (WEB)
 10 “‘The man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, even he who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

  11 “‘The man who lies with his father’s wife has uncovered his father’s nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

  12 “‘If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death: they have committed a perversion; their blood shall be upon them.

  13 “‘If a man lies with a male, as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

  14 “‘If a man takes a wife and her mother, it is wickedness: they shall be burned with fire, both he and they; that there may be no wickedness among you.

  15 “‘If a man lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death; and you shall kill the animal.

  16 “‘If a woman approaches any animal, and lies down with it, you shall kill the woman, and the animal: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

  17 “‘If a man takes his sister, his father’s daughter, or his mother’s daughter, and sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness; it is a shameful thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of the children of their people: he has uncovered his sister’s nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.

  18 “‘If a man lies with a woman having her monthly period, and uncovers her nakedness; he has made naked her fountain, and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

  19 “‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister, nor of your father’s sister; for he has made naked his close relative: they shall bear their iniquity.  20 If a man lies with his uncle’s wife, he has uncovered his uncle’s nakedness: they shall bear their sin; they shall die childless.

  21 “‘If a man takes his brother’s wife, it is an impurity: he has uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless.

So, it would seem that it doesn't say this directly.  However, the following sheds a bit more light on the subject:

John, Chapter 8
 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.  2 Now very early in the morning, he came again into the temple, and all the people came to him. He sat down, and taught them.  3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman taken in adultery. Having set her in the midst,  4 they told him, “Teacher, we found this woman in adultery, in the very act.  5 Now in our law, Moses commanded us to stone such What then do you say about her?”  6 They said this testing him, that they might have something to accuse him of.

But Jesus stooped down, and wrote on the ground with his finger.  7
 But when they continued asking him, he looked up and said to them, "“He who is without sin among you, let him throw the first stone at her.”"  8 Again he stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground.

  9 They, when they heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning from the oldest, even to the last. Jesus was left alone with the woman where she was, in the middle.  10 Jesus, standing up, saw her and said, "“Woman, where are your accusers? Did no one condemn you?”"

  11 She said, “No one, Lord.”

Jesus said, "“Neither do I condemn you. Go your way. From now on, sin no more.”"

Putting the two together, one thing is certain-capital punishment (probably stoning).  On another note- you would have to be "stoned" to want to do this aberrant activity in the first place.  Think about it: your behind was meant for excretion not insertion.  Maybe someone should make a little sign for people to wear: Warning- one way street!!! 
 

Bible Reading, Nov. 18


Nov. 18
Jeremiah 22-25

Jer 22:1 Thus said Yahweh: Go down to the house of the king of Judah, and speak there this word,
Jer 22:2 Say, Hear the word of Yahweh, king of Judah, who sits on the throne of David, you, and your servants, and your people who enter in by these gates.
Jer 22:3 Thus says Yahweh: Execute you justice and righteousness, and deliver him who is robbed out of the hand of the oppressor: and do no wrong, do no violence, to the foreigner, the fatherless, nor the widow; neither shed innocent blood in this place.
Jer 22:4 For if you do this thing indeed, then shall there enter in by the gates of this house kings sitting on the throne of David, riding in chariots and on horses, he, and his servants, and his people.
Jer 22:5 But if you will not hear these words, I swear by myself, says Yahweh, that this house shall become a desolation.
Jer 22:6 For thus says Yahweh concerning the house of the king of Judah: You are Gilead to me, and the head of Lebanon; yet surely I will make you a wilderness, and cities which are not inhabited.
Jer 22:7 I will prepare destroyers against you, everyone with his weapons; and they shall cut down your choice cedars, and cast them into the fire.
Jer 22:8 Many nations shall pass by this city, and they shall say every man to his neighbor, Why has Yahweh done thus to this great city?
Jer 22:9 Then they shall answer, Because they forsook the covenant of Yahweh their God, and worshiped other gods, and served them.
Jer 22:10 Don't you weep for the dead, neither bemoan him; but weep sore for him who goes away; for he shall return no more, nor see his native country.
Jer 22:11 For thus says Yahweh touching Shallum the son of Josiah, king of Judah, who reigned instead of Josiah his father, and who went forth out of this place: He shall not return there any more.
Jer 22:12 But in the place where they have led him captive, there shall he die, and he shall see this land no more.
Jer 22:13 Woe to him who builds his house by unrighteousness, and his chambers by injustice; who uses his neighbor's service without wages, and doesn't give him his hire;
Jer 22:14 who says, I will build me a wide house and spacious chambers, and cuts him out windows; and it is ceiling with cedar, and painted with vermilion.
Jer 22:15 Shall you reign, because you strive to excel in cedar? Didn't your father eat and drink, and do justice and righteousness? then it was well with him.
Jer 22:16 He judged the cause of the poor and needy; then it was well. Wasn't this to know me? says Yahweh.
Jer 22:17 But your eyes and your heart are not but for your covetousness, and for shedding innocent blood, and for oppression, and for violence, to do it.
Jer 22:18 Therefore thus says Yahweh concerning Jehoiakim the son of Josiah, king of Judah: they shall not lament for him, saying, Ah my brother! or, Ah sister! They shall not lament for him, saying Ah lord! or, Ah his glory!
Jer 22:19 He shall be buried with the burial of a donkey, drawn and cast forth beyond the gates of Jerusalem.
Jer 22:20 Go up to Lebanon, and cry; and lift up your voice in Bashan, and cry from Abarim; for all your lovers are destroyed.
Jer 22:21 I spoke to you in your prosperity; but you said, I will not hear. This has been your manner from your youth, that you didn't obey my voice.
Jer 22:22 The wind shall feed all your shepherds, and your lovers shall go into captivity: surely then you will be ashamed and confounded for all your wickedness.
Jer 22:23 Inhabitant of Lebanon, who makes your nest in the cedars, how greatly to be pitied you will be when pangs come on you, the pain as of a woman in travail!
Jer 22:24 As I live, says Yahweh, though Coniah the son of Jehoiakim king of Judah were the signet on my right hand, yet would I pluck you there;
Jer 22:25 and I will give you into the hand of those who seek your life, and into the hand of them of whom you are afraid, even into the hand of Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, and into the hand of the Chaldeans.
Jer 22:26 I will cast you out, and your mother who bore you, into another country, where you were not born; and there you will die.
Jer 22:27 But to the land whereunto their soul longs to return, there shall they not return.
Jer 22:28 Is this man Coniah a despised broken vessel? is he a vessel in which none delights? why are they cast out, he and his seed, and are cast into the land which they don't know?
Jer 22:29 O earth, earth, earth, hear the word of Yahweh.
Jer 22:30 Thus says Yahweh, Write you this man childless, a man who shall not prosper in his days; for no more shall a man of his seed prosper, sitting on the throne of David, and ruling in Judah.
 

Jer 23:1 Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! says Yahweh.
Jer 23:2 Therefore thus says Yahweh, the God of Israel, against the shepherds who feed my people: You have scattered my flock, and driven them away, and have not visited them; behold, I will visit on you the evil of your doings, says Yahweh.
Jer 23:3 I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and will bring them again to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and multiply.
Jer 23:4 I will set up shepherds over them, who shall feed them; and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be lacking, says Yahweh.
Jer 23:5 Behold, the days come, says Yahweh, that I will raise to David a righteous Branch, and he shall reign as king and deal wisely, and shall execute justice and righteousness in the land.
Jer 23:6 In his days Judah shall be saved, and Israel shall dwell safely; and this is his name by which he shall be called: Yahweh our righteousness.
Jer 23:7 Therefore, behold, the days come, says Yahweh, that they shall no more say, As Yahweh lives, who brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt;
Jer 23:8 but, As Yahweh lives, who brought up and who led the seed of the house of Israel out of the north country, and from all the countries where I had driven them. They shall dwell in their own land.
Jer 23:9 Concerning the prophets. My heart within me is broken, all my bones shake; I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine has overcome, because of Yahweh, and because of his holy words.
Jer 23:10 For the land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourns; the pastures of the wilderness are dried up. Their course is evil, and their might is not right;
Jer 23:11 for both prophet and priest are profane; yes, in my house have I found their wickedness, says Yahweh.
Jer 23:12 Therefore their way shall be to them as slippery places in the darkness: they shall be driven on, and fall therein; for I will bring evil on them, even the year of their visitation, says Yahweh.
Jer 23:13 I have seen folly in the prophets of Samaria; they prophesied by Baal, and caused my people Israel to err.
Jer 23:14 In the prophets of Jerusalem also I have seen a horrible thing: they commit adultery, and walk in lies; and they strengthen the hands of evildoers, so that none does return from his wickedness: they are all of them become to me as Sodom, and its inhabitants as Gomorrah.
Jer 23:15 Therefore thus says Yahweh of Armies concerning the prophets: Behold, I will feed them with wormwood, and make them drink the water of gall; for from the prophets of Jerusalem is ungodliness gone forth into all the land.
Jer 23:16 Thus says Yahweh of Armies, Don't listen to the words of the prophets who prophesy to you: they teach you vanity; they speak a vision of their own heart, and not out of the mouth of Yahweh.
Jer 23:17 They say continually to those who despise me, Yahweh has said, You shall have peace; and to everyone who walks in the stubbornness of his own heart they say, No evil shall come on you.
Jer 23:18 For who has stood in the council of Yahweh, that he should perceive and hear his word? who has marked my word, and heard it?
Jer 23:19 Behold, the storm of Yahweh, even his wrath, is gone forth, yes, a whirling storm: it shall burst on the head of the wicked.
Jer 23:20 The anger of Yahweh shall not return, until he has executed, and until he have performed the intents of his heart: in the latter days you shall understand it perfectly.
Jer 23:21 I sent not these prophets, yet they ran: I didn't speak to them, yet they prophesied.
Jer 23:22 But if they had stood in my council, then had they caused my people to hear my words, and had turned them from their evil way, and from the evil of their doings.
Jer 23:23 Am I a God at hand, says Yahweh, and not a God afar off?
Jer 23:24 Can any hide himself in secret places so that I shall not see him? says Yahweh. Don't I fill heaven and earth? says Yahweh.
Jer 23:25 I have heard what the prophets have said, who prophesy lies in my name, saying, I have dreamed, I have dreamed.
Jer 23:26 How long shall this be in the heart of the prophets who prophesy lies, even the prophets of the deceit of their own heart?
Jer 23:27 who think to cause my people to forget my name by their dreams which they tell every man to his neighbor, as their fathers forgot my name for Baal.
Jer 23:28 The prophet who has a dream, let him tell a dream; and he who has my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the straw to the wheat? says Yahweh.
Jer 23:29 Isn't my word like fire? says Yahweh; and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?
Jer 23:30 Therefore, behold, I am against the prophets, says Yahweh, who steal my words everyone from his neighbor.
Jer 23:31 Behold, I am against the prophets, says Yahweh, who use their tongues, and say, He says.
Jer 23:32 Behold, I am against those who prophesy lying dreams, says Yahweh, and do tell them, and cause my people to err by their lies, and by their vain boasting: yet I didn't send them, nor commanded them; neither do they profit this people at all, says Yahweh.
Jer 23:33 When this people, or the prophet, or a priest, shall ask you, saying, What is the burden of Yahweh? then you shall tell them, What burden! I will cast you off, says Yahweh.
Jer 23:34 As for the prophet, and the priest, and the people, who shall say, The burden of Yahweh, I will even punish that man and his house.
Jer 23:35 You shall say everyone to his neighbor, and everyone to his brother, What has Yahweh answered? and, What has Yahweh spoken?
Jer 23:36 You shall mention the burden of Yahweh no more: for every man's own word shall be his burden; for you have perverted the words of the living God, of Yahweh of Armies our God.
Jer 23:37 You shall say to the prophet, What has Yahweh answered you? and, What has Yahweh spoken?
Jer 23:38 But if you say, The burden of Yahweh; therefore thus says Yahweh: Because you say this word, The burden of Yahweh, and I have sent to you, saying, You shall not say, The burden of Yahweh;
Jer 23:39 therefore, behold, I will utterly forget you, and I will cast you off, and the city that I gave to you and to your fathers, away from my presence:
Jer 23:40 and I will bring an everlasting reproach on you, and a perpetual shame, which shall not be forgotten.
 

Jer 24:1 Yahweh showed me, and behold, two baskets of figs set before the temple of Yahweh, after that Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon had carried away captive Jeconiah the son of Jehoiakim, king of Judah, and the princes of Judah, with the craftsmen and smiths, from Jerusalem, and had brought them to Babylon.
Jer 24:2 One basket had very good figs, like the figs that are first-ripe; and the other basket had very bad figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad.
Jer 24:3 Then said Yahweh to me, What see you, Jeremiah? I said, Figs; the good figs, very good; and the bad, very bad, that can't be eaten, they are so bad.
Jer 24:4 The word of Yahweh came to me, saying,
Jer 24:5 Thus says Yahweh, the God of Israel: Like these good figs, so will I regard the captives of Judah, whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans, for good.
Jer 24:6 For I will set my eyes on them for good, and I will bring them again to this land: and I will build them, and not pull them down; and I will plant them, and not pluck them up.
Jer 24:7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am Yahweh: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God; for they shall return to me with their whole heart.
Jer 24:8 As the bad figs, which can't be eaten, they are so bad, surely thus says Yahweh, So will I give up Zedekiah the king of Judah, and his princes, and the residue of Jerusalem, who remain in this land, and those who dwell in the land of Egypt,
Jer 24:9 I will even give them up to be tossed back and forth among all the kingdoms of the earth for evil; to be a reproach and a proverb, a taunt and a curse, in all places where I shall drive them.
Jer 24:10 I will send the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, among them, until they be consumed from off the land that I gave to them and to their fathers.
 

Jer 25:1 The word that came to Jeremiah concerning all the people of Judah, in the fourth year of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah, king of Judah (the same was the first year of Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon),
Jer 25:2 which Jeremiah the prophet spoke to all the people of Judah, and to all the inhabitants of Jerusalem, saying:
Jer 25:3 From the thirteenth year of Josiah the son of Amon, king of Judah, even to this day, these twenty-three years, the word of Yahweh has come to me, and I have spoken to you, rising up early and speaking; but you have not listened.
Jer 25:4 Yahweh has sent to you all his servants the prophets, rising up early and sending them (but you have not listened, nor inclined your ear to hear)
Jer 25:5 saying, Return now everyone from his evil way, and from the evil of your doings, and dwell in the land that Yahweh has given to you and to your fathers, from of old and even forevermore;
Jer 25:6 and don't go after other gods to serve them or worship them, and don't provoke me to anger with the work of your hands; and I will do you no harm.
Jer 25:7 Yet you have not listened to me, says Yahweh; that you may provoke me to anger with the work of your hands to your own hurt.
Jer 25:8 Therefore thus says Yahweh of Armies: Because you have not heard my words,
Jer 25:9 behold, I will send and take all the families of the north, says Yahweh, and I will send to Nebuchadnezzar the king of Babylon, my servant, and will bring them against this land, and against its inhabitants, and against all these nations around; and I will utterly destroy them, and make them an astonishment, and a hissing, and perpetual desolations.
Jer 25:10 Moreover I will take from them the voice of mirth and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the sound of the millstones, and the light of the lamp.
Jer 25:11 This whole land shall be a desolation, and an astonishment; and these nations shall serve the king of Babylon seventy years.
Jer 25:12 It shall happen, when seventy years are accomplished, that I will punish the king of Babylon, and that nation, says Yahweh, for their iniquity, and the land of the Chaldeans; and I will make it desolate forever.
Jer 25:13 I will bring on that land all my words which I have pronounced against it, even all that is written in this book, which Jeremiah has prophesied against all the nations.
Jer 25:14 For many nations and great kings shall make bondservants of them, even of them; and I will recompense them according to their deeds, and according to the work of their hands.
Jer 25:15 For thus says Yahweh, the God of Israel, to me: take this cup of the wine of wrath at my hand, and cause all the nations, to whom I send you, to drink it.
Jer 25:16 They shall drink, and reel back and forth, and be mad, because of the sword that I will send among them.
Jer 25:17 Then took I the cup at Yahweh's hand, and made all the nations to drink, to whom Yahweh had sent me:
Jer 25:18 to wit, Jerusalem, and the cities of Judah, and its kings, and its princes, to make them a desolation, an astonishment, a hissing, and a curse, as it is this day;
Jer 25:19 Pharaoh king of Egypt, and his servants, and his princes, and all his people;
Jer 25:20 and all the mixed people, and all the kings of the land of the Uz, and all the kings of the Philistines, and Ashkelon, and Gaza, and Ekron, and the remnant of Ashdod;
Jer 25:21 Edom, and Moab, and the children of Ammon;
Jer 25:22 and all the kings of Tyre, and all the kings of Sidon, and the kings of the isle which is beyond the sea;
Jer 25:23 Dedan, and Tema, and Buz, and all who have the corners of their hair cut off;
Jer 25:24 and all the kings of Arabia, and all the kings of the mixed people who dwell in the wilderness;
Jer 25:25 and all the kings of Zimri, and all the kings of Elam, and all the kings of the Medes;
Jer 25:26 and all the kings of the north, far and near, one with another; and all the kingdoms of the world, which are on the surface of the earth: and the king of Sheshach shall drink after them.
Jer 25:27 You shall tell them, Thus says Yahweh of Armies, the God of Israel: Drink you, and be drunken, and spew, and fall, and rise no more, because of the sword which I will send among you.
Jer 25:28 It shall be, if they refuse to take the cup at your hand to drink, then you shall tell them, Thus says Yahweh of Armies: You shall surely drink.
Jer 25:29 For, behold, I begin to work evil at the city which is called by my name; and should you be utterly unpunished? You shall not be unpunished; for I will call for a sword on all the inhabitants of the earth, says Yahweh of Armies.
Jer 25:30 Therefore prophesy you against them all these words, and tell them, Yahweh will roar from on high, and utter his voice from his holy habitation; he will mightily roar against his fold; he will give a shout, as those who tread the grapes, against all the inhabitants of the earth.
Jer 25:31 A noise shall come even to the end of the earth; for Yahweh has a controversy with the nations; he will enter into judgment with all flesh: as for the wicked, he will give them to the sword, says Yahweh.
Jer 25:32 Thus says Yahweh of Armies, Behold, evil shall go forth from nation to nation, and a great storm shall be raised up from the uttermost parts of the earth.
Jer 25:33 The slain of Yahweh shall be at that day from one end of the earth even to the other end of the earth: they shall not be lamented, neither gathered, nor buried; they shall be dung on the surface of the ground.
Jer 25:34 Wail, you shepherds, and cry; and wallow in ashes, you principal of the flock; for the days of your slaughter and of your dispersions are fully come, and you shall fall like a goodly vessel.
Jer 25:35 The shepherds shall have no way to flee, nor the principal of the flock to escape.
Jer 25:36 A voice of the cry of the shepherds, and the wailing of the principal of the flock! for Yahweh lays waste their pasture.
Jer 25:37 The peaceable folds are brought to silence because of the fierce anger of Yahweh.
Jer 25:38 He has left his covert, as the lion; for their land is become an astonishment because of the fierceness of the oppressing sword, and because of his fierce anger.



Nov. 18
Hebrews 4

Heb 4:1 Let us fear therefore, lest perhaps anyone of you should seem to have come short of a promise of entering into his rest.
Heb 4:2 For indeed we have had good news preached to us, even as they also did, but the word they heard didn't profit them, because it wasn't mixed with faith by those who heard.
Heb 4:3 For we who have believed do enter into that rest, even as he has said, "As I swore in my wrath, they will not enter into my rest;" although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
Heb 4:4 For he has said this somewhere about the seventh day, "God rested on the seventh day from all his works;"
Heb 4:5 and in this place again, "They will not enter into my rest."
Heb 4:6 Seeing therefore it remains that some should enter therein, and they to whom the good news was before preached failed to enter in because of disobedience,
Heb 4:7 he again defines a certain day, today, saying through David so long a time afterward (just as has been said), "Today if you will hear his voice, don't harden your hearts."
Heb 4:8 For if Joshua had given them rest, he would not have spoken afterward of another day.
Heb 4:9 There remains therefore a Sabbath rest for the people of God.
Heb 4:10 For he who has entered into his rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from his.
Heb 4:11 Let us therefore give diligence to enter into that rest, lest anyone fall after the same example of disobedience.
Heb 4:12 For the word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Heb 4:13 There is no creature that is hidden from his sight, but all things are naked and laid open before the eyes of him with whom we have to do.
Heb 4:14 Having then a great high priest, who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold tightly to our confession.
Heb 4:15 For we don't have a high priest who can't be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but one who has been in all points tempted like we are, yet without sin.
Heb 4:16 Let us therefore draw near with boldness to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace for help in time of need.