11/18/12

When puns and reality converge

Those of you who know me are aware of my sense of humor; I really love a play on words.  So, when I saw this on the net today it piqued my interest.  But, something just didn't look right.  So I looked it up in my computer program Xiphos and found that the penalty listed was listed as being "put to death" in the World English Version.  Not content with that, I reviewed a dozen plus major translations and they all said the same thing. Next, I consulted the Bible from 26 translations and it agreed as well.  Not wanting to take something out of context, I copied its neighboring verses as well and I have listed this below...

Leviticus, Chapter 20 (WEB)
 10 “‘The man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, even he who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

  11 “‘The man who lies with his father’s wife has uncovered his father’s nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

  12 “‘If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death: they have committed a perversion; their blood shall be upon them.

  13 “‘If a man lies with a male, as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

  14 “‘If a man takes a wife and her mother, it is wickedness: they shall be burned with fire, both he and they; that there may be no wickedness among you.

  15 “‘If a man lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death; and you shall kill the animal.

  16 “‘If a woman approaches any animal, and lies down with it, you shall kill the woman, and the animal: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

  17 “‘If a man takes his sister, his father’s daughter, or his mother’s daughter, and sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness; it is a shameful thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of the children of their people: he has uncovered his sister’s nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.

  18 “‘If a man lies with a woman having her monthly period, and uncovers her nakedness; he has made naked her fountain, and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

  19 “‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister, nor of your father’s sister; for he has made naked his close relative: they shall bear their iniquity.  20 If a man lies with his uncle’s wife, he has uncovered his uncle’s nakedness: they shall bear their sin; they shall die childless.

  21 “‘If a man takes his brother’s wife, it is an impurity: he has uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless.

So, it would seem that it doesn't say this directly.  However, the following sheds a bit more light on the subject:

John, Chapter 8
 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.  2 Now very early in the morning, he came again into the temple, and all the people came to him. He sat down, and taught them.  3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman taken in adultery. Having set her in the midst,  4 they told him, “Teacher, we found this woman in adultery, in the very act.  5 Now in our law, Moses commanded us to stone such What then do you say about her?”  6 They said this testing him, that they might have something to accuse him of.

But Jesus stooped down, and wrote on the ground with his finger.  7
 But when they continued asking him, he looked up and said to them, "“He who is without sin among you, let him throw the first stone at her.”"  8 Again he stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground.

  9 They, when they heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning from the oldest, even to the last. Jesus was left alone with the woman where she was, in the middle.  10 Jesus, standing up, saw her and said, "“Woman, where are your accusers? Did no one condemn you?”"

  11 She said, “No one, Lord.”

Jesus said, "“Neither do I condemn you. Go your way. From now on, sin no more.”"

Putting the two together, one thing is certain-capital punishment (probably stoning).  On another note- you would have to be "stoned" to want to do this aberrant activity in the first place.  Think about it: your behind was meant for excretion not insertion.  Maybe someone should make a little sign for people to wear: Warning- one way street!!!