FATHERS
"Now
Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and said, 'I
have acquired a man from the Lord.' " (Gen. 4:1) Herein we have
the account of the making of the first earthly father - Adam, the
father of Cain.
The
psalmist declares children to be a blessing from God; "Behold,
children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a
reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of
one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them..."
(Psm. 127:3-5) These words echo Eve's declaration that she had
"acquired a man from the Lord."
Fatherhood
is indeed a blessing from God. It is according to God's design as
part of that which makes up a family as stated by God when He said
that "...a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined
to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Gen. 2:24) When
He made Adam and Eve, "...God said to them, 'Be fruitful and
multiply; fill the earth and subdue it...' " (Gen. 1:28).
Therefore, in God's grand scheme of life, He created mankind with the
ability to reproduce himself wherein both man and woman, though
individual souls, are dependent upon the other. This is what Paul
alluded to when he wrote that "...man is not from woman, but
woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the
man.....neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of
man, in the Lord For as woman came from man, even so man also comes
through woman; but all things are from God." (1 Cor. 11:8-9,
11-12) It is sad that man has perverted this divine arrangement by
ignoring the sanctity of marriage in the sins of adultery (which
leads to multiple marriages), as well as the abominable sin of
homosexuality that defies God's natural order.
In
modern society, the breakdown of the family is evident in every
quarter of life. There seems to be no social barrier that is immune
to the ravages of divorce and every other affront to the family as
God designed it. What was once the exception to the rule has become
commonplace as we find many homes whose children are missing either a
father or a mother due to divorce or, as often as not, due to their
having been born out of wedlock.
Wherever
there is the shirking of any parent's divinely appointed
responsibility, there is heartache. Many a child in our society
knows this first hand. It is not uncommon to find children growing
up in a home without a father. It is therefore no wonder that
another generation has come along that lacks the understanding of
God's pattern for the family unit.
There
is more to fatherhood than having the ability to reproduce offspring.
To be worthy of that title, a man must accept the responsibility
that goes along with it. To be a father is to be more than a
progenitor, but to be a provider, a protector, a mentor, a teacher, a
confidant, and a godly example.
Fathers
are given the sobering responsibility to "...not provoke your
children to wrath, but
bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."
(Eph. 6:4) This cannot be done when the father is nowhere to be
found, or is too wrapped up in his own indulgences to be there for
his children.
There
is many a man (?) who has fathered a child that he knows nothing of,
whose child will never know his face or his identity, and whose
parentage is even unknown to that child's mother. There is many a
father who, though claiming his family by coming home at night
(sometimes), leaves his responsibility to his children exclusively
in the hands of their mother who has to "take up the slack"
in his perpetual absence. This is a shame and a disgrace and ought
not to be! Then there are fathers who are so blinded to their
parental responsibilities by their jobs, work, and social
commitments, that the brief time that remains for their children is
merely a token response to their very existence.
As
a result of these things, many a father has looked back and wondered
why their children fail to share their convictions or return to them
the love that they hoped for in their old age. It is then that the
proverb comes home to roost; "...A wise son makes a glad father,
but
a foolish son is the grief of his mother."
(Prov. 10:1) The fruit of their shirked responsibility is bitter
indeed.
Words
of advice to delinquent fathers need to be heeded, not only for the
benefit of their children, but for their own future well-being. When
fathers fail to "be there" for their children and to guide
them with the proper loving discipline of a caring parent, they set
themselves up for future heartbreak. "The rod and reproof give
wisdom,
but a child left to himself brings shame
to his mother." (Prov. 29:15) "Correct your son, and he
will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul."
(Prov. 29:17)
On
the other hand, there are those fathers who recognize the blessing
they have received in their children, who faithfully (to the best of
their ability), accept their God-given responsibility with enthusiasm
and thankfulness, whose children never doubt their love and are
comforted in the knowledge that they can depend on them to always "be
there" for them. These have earned the due respect of their
children and are worthy of the recognition that their children honor
them with.
The
authority that is divinely bestowed upon a father is to be honored by
their children. "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for
this is right. 'Honor your father and mother,' which is the first
commandment with promise: 'that it may be well with you and you may
live long on the earth.' " (Eph. 6:1-3) "Listen to your
father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is
old." (Prov. 23:22)
Listen
to the words of a father; "Hear, my children, the instruction of
a father, and give attention to know understanding; For I give you
good doctrine. Do not forsake my law. When I was my father's son,
tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, he also taught me,
and said to me: Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and
live." (Prov. 4:1-4)
"Do
not remove the ancient landmark which your fathers have set."
(Prov. 22:28) The landmarks of a godly father are the principles of
all that is good that stand as monuments to their integrity and as
guideposts to their children. They are the personification of godly
wisdom. They are the inheritance of a godly example for future
generations when those who erected them are but a memory. Thanks,
dad. - Gary V. Womack - June 2005