Disappointed in God (2)
Woody Allen said that whatever else we must think about God we must surely think of him as an under-achiever. He could do more if he just put his mind to it. He has the power but not the drive. Whatever else we must think about Woody Allen we must surely think that every now and then he hits the nail right on the head; he expresses what many of us have floating around inside. Don’t you hate it when a book promises all kinds of answers and sure-fire cures and when you’re done you throw it aside with the same sense of disappointment you felt about the other books? "Same old shell-game, now you see it, now you don’t, now you have it, now you don’t. One of these days..."
We feel disappointed in God because our lives aren’t up to what we think they would be if God were really and consistently involved in them. Like Tevye in Fiddler On The Roof we feel that God could make us rich, healthy, acclaimed or whatever without upsetting some eternal plan—if he wanted to! Closer to home, when we come face to face with agony—prolonged agony—whether of loneliness or physical trauma, it isn’t money for a holiday in The Islands or Southern France we want. We’re only looking for some basic relief from grinding pain or poverty for pity’s sake, not a private Lear Jet or a villa in Costa Del Sol. Is that too much to want? Does God think that’s selfish? Is that too much foranyone to want—Christian or non-Christian?
And wouldn’t you think God would look on us with a bit of extra grace when we turn our lives over to him and try to live for him? I don’t mean he should make "pets" out of us but wouldn’t you think he’d look at us with a bit of added care and say, "They need a break"? But, nope, for tens of thousands of us it doesn’t seem to make a bit of difference—the ceaseless dull ache remains or the agony sears us just the same or the bone deep "nuthin' opens its eyes when we do and goes everywhere with us.
And having become one of his People our consciences are awakened and the moral struggle begins in earnest (or continues in earnest for God is at work in non-Christians as surely as in Christians). More sensitive to righteousness now, more anxious to please Christ, more anxious to be good in that warm rich sense of the word, we find a powerful gloomy current running deep within us. The social, economic and physical struggles get all tangled up with the moral struggle and life is more complicated than ever. Yes, it’s true we hear all the happy hymns and assurance-offering psalms and scriptures but unless we have the heart to appreciate them they don’t seem to amount to much. And we aren't good at hearing or appreciating yet.
Still, we’ve come among God’s friends and representatives and we’ll find help and strength from God flowing through them—won’t we? If our life with God was really to catch fire then the burdens of life—burdens we know millions carry—would be easier to bear. We want to grow! Well, at least we want to want to grow and we’re depending on God’s friends and representatives to feed and nurture us with rich, strong and Christlike food. And what we get too often is one more religious demand after another from people who don’t understand our awful spiritual needs. They offer more burdens and they do it in the name of God.
And a young man, with big dark eyes, watches it all and sees us like oxen wearing an ill-fitting yoke dragging a plough from one long day to another. He sees us as beasts of burden piled high with too much to carry and he says, "Come unto me all you who toil and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." And what does he know of God? What kind of God does he offer? Is it just another version of the old shell-game? What does the fine print in his covenant say? [For a little more, click here.]
©2004 Jim McGuiggan. All materials are free to be copied and used as long as money is not being made.
Many thanks to brother Ed Healy for allowing me to post from his website, the abiding word.com.