Why Not Me?
There must have been other women besides Hannah who for one reason or another couldn't bear children. One of them might have heard her story about asking God for a child and getting one. I suppose a woman like that could feel envious but why do we need to put the worst face on it? She might have been genuinely pleased for Hannah but still felt, "Wonder why it isn't me?" While seeing good things happening for other people reminds us that the world is not unrelieved gloom (and that's a good thing to know) it can also provoke us to think, "When's it going to be my turn?" And when we can't come up with satisfying answers to that specific question we're tempted to think that life is "controlled" by two gods, Fortunate and Unfortunate. The "wrong" women get the babies (see who had them in 1 Samuel 1) or have the loyal husbands or are brimful of health and life looks like a lottery. Some sensitive souls tend to think they are being punished for some imagined wrong and that adds pain to their pain. Or maybe it's not a question of having done wrong--they just aren't "good enough" to receive the blessing they realy long for. It's bad enough not to have the blessing but it's worse to live with lousy reasons. Resentment develops more easily when you add silly explanations to the pain these people already have. So it's back to: "Trust God." Ultimately, I'm sure that's the way to go.
But the God who calls us to trust him hasn't left us entirely without reasons to do just that. There are some things in my own life I'd dearly love changed but there are a host of things in my life that fill me with gratitude--things I wouldn't want changed. The pain, the deep disappointment that is there is some areas of my life are offset by all the pleasant and enriching things i enjoy. Where does the list begin and where would it end? If we went to God with our poor hearts breaking and told him that we feel he's doing so much for others and so little for us he might say, "Ah, my poor hurting child, I know you are feeling this loss deeply but you know I haven't left you unblessed. Want to sit here with me and list them?"
[I've said some things about this in several little books. You might be interested in reading something from those. You can view sample pieces from these books by clicking here.)
©2004 Jim McGuiggan. All materials are free to be copied and used as long as money is not being made.
Many thanks to brother Ed Healy, for allowing me to post from his website, the abiding word.com.