6/21/13

From Jim McGuiggan... Unequal yokes and mixed marriages


Unequal yokes & mixed marriages

Does 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 forbid a Christian to marry a non-Christian? The verses say, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?...What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?" Paul concludes the section with the prophetic call, "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord...and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
Opinions divide on this and, in the end, this section won't settle the matter. Hughes thinks it intends to include marriage and Hafemann thinks it has nothing to do with marriage. You can line names up on either side of the question. Our broader theological views will lead us to our conclusion on a passage like this.
"Do not" is a present imperative. As it so often does it probably means, "Stop becoming" unequally yoked with unbelievers. Whatever is involved in this unequal yoking not only are they to stop it, they are also to "come out from among" those with whom they are or would be tempted to be unequally yoked. "Come out" is an aorist imperative and the call is for a clean and decisive break. In the Old Testament setting a clean break with Babylon (and what it stands for) is called for. If they make that heart-break with Babylon God would receive them as his people and would bring them out of captivity. The implication clearly is--clear to me at least--that if they wont make the break they break with God.
It would appear that if marriage to a non-Christian is embraced in this unequal yoking concept that not only must Christians stop doing it they must also come out from under the unequal yoke. It's difficult to think that Paul would teach that we shouldn't get ourselves into an anti-God and anti-Christ relationship but that it would be all right to stay in it once were in it. Add to that the "come out". If we should conclude that that would mean we had to withdraw from a marriage with an unbeliever then we'd have trouble with 1 Corinthians 7 where he forbids a believer to initiate the dissolution of such a marriage.
Of course we might say that the mixed marriages of 1 Corinthians 7 were originally marriages between two non-believers and one became a believer whereas here it speaks of marriages where believers entered a marriage with a non-believer. We could argue that Paul forbids the breaking up of the first and calls for the breaking up of the second. That would be a valid distinction but does it ring true to the texts? We have two mixed marriages and one is to be maintained (it's not a continuing unequal yoke?) and the other is to broken from? In any case, we'd need to be prepared for the consequences of our theology. If marrying an unbeliever is becoming unequally yoked and is light fellowshipping darkness what does "come out" mean?
Other complex issues arise. Such as, is a mixed marriage a "real" marriage or does God not recognize it? If he does not recognize it where does that leave the two people involved? And the children of such a union? And if "come out" means to terminate the marriage what is a church to say to those who refuse to terminate? Are they "living in fornication"? It goes on from there. If he does recognize it why does he call for it to be dissolved? This is not a "tidy" question.
Perhaps all of that is too much for us to face. In the face of this passage is it permissible to say, "God says we shouldn't do it but if we initiate and continue to maintain that Christ/Belial, light/darkness union then we don't have to "come out"? Does the section read as though that's permissible? It doesn't to me. It reads like a blunt, no punches-pulled call with awful consequences implied if the "come out" is sidestepped or ignored. 

Whatever the text is dealing with it demands a stop to initiation and a severance of an existing situation.

For myself, I don't think this section is dealing with such relationships.
This specific section may not speak to "mixed marriages" but I don't think that that is the end of the matter. I've seen marriages take place between two Christians that made me wince. I've seen business relationships entered that looked morally doomed from the start. I've seen destructive friendships entered despite loving and wise warnings. And I've seen marriages between a believer and a non-believer that spiraled down precisely because the believer came to realize that her faith meant more to her than she had known. Believers who marry non-believers make decisions for their children and their grandchildren. This means that a decision to marry a non-believer is a very serious decision indeed. 

All that is true even though I don't think 2 Corinthians 6 has anything to do with marriage in particular.

It isn't hard to "apply the principles" (as we put it) of such a text. But that's a far cry from saying "this passage teaches this." An act or an attitude may be wrong without an explicit text to condemn it. Sin is more than an act, it is heart-leaning, an attitude, a willingness to be morally stupid. We can sin without violating an explicit text.
Oh, I've also seen mixed marriages that turned out to be ideal--where both ended up as Christians and I've marriages between two Christians that went nowhere but down.
There aren't many things more stupid than Christians relying on a forbidding text to keep young people from marrying non-believers without offering rich, warm, inspirational biblical theology about Christian destiny, mission and maximum joy. By the time some young man or woman is speaking of marriage to a non-believer it's already too late to quote a verse of scripture.

©2004 Jim McGuiggan. All materials are free to be copied and used as long as money is not being made.

Many thanks to brother Ed Healy, for allowing me to post from his website, the abiding word.com.